SPECIAL INTEREST DON'T LET DAD MISS OUT ON A MIRACLE (continued) I also tell them that their presence in the delivery room makes a real difference. It helps in providing comfort. Collectively, we have missed out on many worthwhile and valuable experiences. Role separation has especially been a problem in bringing a new life into the world and giving that new life a positive start. Our fast-paced, high-tech society influences father's exclusion. The economic demands and pressure keep dad in the work place for longer hours and makes for a more impersonal and mechanical approach to society. This in turn has significant effects on marriage and can discourage a close, loving and supportive relationship. Because of this weakness in the husband/wife relationship and its inherent lack of communication, a majority of pregnancies are not truly planned, but "just happen." Often, this occurs at what seems to the husband and wife to be an inopportune time, so the pregnancy does not get an enthusiastic and supportive start. This, the home relationship, can be further stressed by the impending unplanned addition to the family. Employes often don't realize or don't care about the long-term benefits of dad's involvement in the pregnancy, so they don't make it convenient or allow time for him to get involved. Even the physician often feels he is too rushed to deal with the father's role, and sometimes doesn't really understand the need for the father's active participation. Most physicians don't encourage the future dad to come to prenatal visits or to get more involved. Regrettably, dad is not made to feel welcomed as a member of the child birthing team. The lack of understanding of two very basic "truths" greatly helps perpetuate the problem in the uninvolved father. The first truth is that our children will determine the future of our world. They can teach us many beautiful things. Parents are the major influence in starting the child's life in an open-minded positive-oriented and loving direction. A harmoniously balanced male/female influence is important in this. Secondly, mankind has for centuries suppressed an understanding of its true non-physical or spiritual nature. So the majority of that effort has fallen into the physical pursuits of life, which often excludes looking within for the true self. These basic misunderstandings prevent a true appreciation of the awareness and consciousness of the unborn and newborn child and how we can and do influence it prior to and after birth. There are numerous ways that the father can be brought into the birth and child-rearing experience. Obviously, the major effort has to be placed on getting both men and women to "let go" of definitions and eliminate the stereotype male/female role models. They must work at accepting a person based on inner strength and value, accomplishments and intelligence rather than on male or female orientation. We have to know that it is okay for men to be gentle, sensitive and intuitive (left-brained) and it's okay for women to be more rigid, physical, logical and intelligent and to make contributions outside the home (right-brain). If children are taught these principles, they will not allow themselves to be limited by role models and inappropriate definitions. Fortunately, society is moving, or being pushed, into a more equal role direction. After all, the true inner self has no gender. An acceptance of equality between male and female helps to strengthen the relationship and hence helps to create true partnership in bringing new life into the world. Despite our fast--paced demands, it is imperative that couples "stop and smell the roses" and give to the relationship. We must make a continuous commitment to accept responsibility for our part in the marriage. There must be continuous and effective communication. More