SPECIAL INTEREST DON'T LET DAD MISS OUT ON A MIRACLE (continued) The Gold Rule still applies to all levels of relationships. With a strong relationship, the couple is better able to plan a pregnancy and become jointly involved in child bearing and rearing. A planned pregnancy starts with everyone...mother, father and baby along with the entire family...in an enthusiastic and positive direction. Getting the reluctant father involved should generally be approached slowly by both the wife and physician. A wife's enthusiasm is important along with her reassurance in pointing to the value of the husband's support and the rewards for both of them. The physician is a very important and influential factor in getting the father actively involved. The first major step is to encourage the patient to bring the father and other family members to prenatal visits. It is very important to make them all feel welcome and comfortable. Proper office decor, with such features as warm and homey furnishings and a child's play area, has an important place in making the entire family feel at ease. The physician must remember that a father can easily feel very self-conscious and ill at ease in an obstetrician/gynecologist's office. The fun of being able to hear the baby's heart beat and the opportunity to get answers to questions from the physician all help to put him at ease and get him involved. In addition to responding to questions, the physician can also provide guidance and insights through furnishing handouts, books and video tapes. Seeking out a physician who will take the time and make the effort to work with the father and the family is an important early step for the mother. She has not only a right but an obligation to find a physician who will encourage family involvement, including full participation in the birth process. More